Using my Programming Skills to Troubleshoot a Crying Baby

So first things first, yes I am now a dad to a byotaful baby gurl who is a bit older than 1 month by now and, as you might expect, babies cry... a lot....

In the past I've made a post about how humans and computers think differently, implying therefore that being a programmer requires you to have a different mindset.

And that's where it all begins.

Now, until you have children you might not realize this, but when YOUR baby cries, it's a whole other kind of psychological warfare than when someone else's baby cries.

When another baby cries it usually is just highly annoying, but when YOUR baby cries you just need it to STOP as soon as possible, and for multiple reasons such as:

• There's something wrong with them and they are suffering, therefore your biological instincts kick in to fix whatever is wrong
• Your brain goes through all kinds of thoughts and emotions that you didn't even realize you had
• You get frustrated that today was ALMOST the day you could sleep for like 3 hours
• It starts getting unbearable to hear, specially when it just progressively gets worse
• You start considering throwing them out the window to end this madness.

In other words, a lot of fun!!

So that's where my programmer's mind kicked in.

First I analyzed what makes a baby cry and, according to research, there are a few common things such as too hot, too cold, hungry, dirty diaper, colics, etc, and some of the babies react differently to each, some may not even mind a dirty diaper.

It then basically became a form of "if" statements, or "case" but I'll go with "if" because it's easier to understand.

if(babyCrying)

changeDiaper();

if(babyCrying)

checkColics();

if(babyCrying)

checkTemperature();

if(babyCrying)

feed();

Which works great... rarely...

Turns out some times babies just cry for the sake of crying, or that nothing you can do will actually calm them down :D

So now the formula is something like

if(babyCrying)

{

panic();

despair();

cryALittleYourself();

}



Bottom line is: Having a baby is great! But be prepared for countless frustrations and coming to the realization that no matter what you do, sometimes you're powerless :D

But srsly though, it's great.